Are Politics Tearing Your Family Apart?

Buzzfeed news posted another crap article last week comparing the responses of two celebrity women, Sydney Sweeney and Jennifer Lawrence, towards their conservative leaning family members. The article goes into great lengths to expose Sydney’s right-wing supporting family, posting the names and pictures of them, including an infant, not just from her mother’s 60th birthday party but from past posts of individuals that she had tagged at the celebration. Sydney’s was painted as a villain for the abhorrent act of socializing and enjoying time with her conservative family members whom she may or may not share political views with. On the flip side, Jennifer Lawrence, mediocre lead actress from the hunger games, silver linings playbook and many other films, beloved for tripping at awards shows and being so relatable, was praised for cutting off and distancing herself from her republican family members, including her own father. In her own words from a recent interview with Vogue magazine, ““I’ve tried to get over it and I really can’t. I can’t,” she went on. “I’m sorry I’m just unleashing, but I can’t f*** with people who aren’t political anymore. You live in the United States of America. You have to be political. It’s too dire. Politics are killing people.” So brave. So bold. So stupid. Now, don’t get me wrong, we are not at all fans of Sydney Sweeney’s acting. Honestly, we are very strongly against the show that she co-stars in, Euphoria; so much so that we spent a whole month detailing our many issues with it. That being said, the political climate for more than the past decade has been increasingly volatile, with hostile rhetoric being thrown from both sides not only dividing neighbor from neighbor but families under the same roof. Is dividing families and demanding others to do the same due to political beliefs ever a healthy response and, if it is, are we at that point yet? That is what we will be discussing today.

So, is it ever actually healthy to cut ties with close family due to differing political beliefs? Our answer may surprise you but, actually, yes. Throughout history, we have seen the rise and fall of countless despots and demagogueswho have used lies and manipulation to gain power and turn people against one another along racial, political, socio-economic and many other bases. Hitler is the most obvious example of someone who rose to political power with nationalist and racist rhetoric and then used that power to kill millions, although he is not the most egregious example. 15-55 million died under Mao’s dictatorial rule in China, primarily due to the famine caused by his policies. When faced with falling in line behind a leader like these or risking cutting off ties with family, the choice seems very clear. The problem is, how do you know when you’re watching the next Hitler, Stalin or Mao on TV versus just another hyperbole spewing politician? Often, you can’t until people have already started to die. This is a reality that, unfortunately, many politicians take advantage of, convincing their constituents that their opponent is the great evil that must be stopped, or everything is going to fall apart. We no longer assume best intentions but, instead, assign the worst possible motives and interpretations to those we disagree with, escalating every outcome to an us or them, kill or be killed level of fervor.

Let's look at a couple of examples from our current and most recent presidents. Both have employed these types of escalation tactics. On September 1st, President Joe Biden stood in front of an ominously red lit Independence Hall, flanked by United States Marines, as he addressed what he referred to as a clear and present danger, “MAGA Republicans.”

“Maga forces are determined to take this country backwards. Backwards to an America where there is no right to choose, no right to privacy, no right to contraception, no right to marry who you love. They promote authoritarian leaders, and they fan the flames of political violence that are a threat to our personal rights, to the pursuit of justice, to the rule of law, to the very soul of this country.”

Every part of this speech was designed to convey urgency, an imminent threat, and the might and military power to stand against it. Those sentiments were reiterated over the last couple of weeks as media outlets have been commentating about it since then. Compare that with similar sentiments shared by President Donald Trump on January 6th, 2021, at what was called the “Save America March.” We’ll soften a specific word choice since this is a Christian program, but you’ll get the message.

“You will have an illegitimate president. That is what you will have, and we can’t let that happen. These are the facts that you won’t hear from the fake news media. It’s all part of the suppression effort. They don’t want to talk about it. They don’t want to talk about it. …“We fight like h-e-double hockey sticks, and if you don’t fight like h-e-double hockey sticks, you’re not going to have a country anymore.”

Both Presidents used inflammatory descriptions in order to spur their base into political action. Both groups of supporters were and are fully convinced that their position is not only right but righteous. Both sides believe they have clearly defined enemies and if they aren’t stopped, all is lost. But, again, the problem is that those clearly defined enemies are our own neighbors, our friends, our families. In her vogue interview, Jennifer Lawrence confessed to having recurring nightmares about Tucker Carlson, a Fox News host. The conservative commentator's views shared on a channel that she could choose to watch or not is enough to give her recurring nightmares but, interestingly, her close relationship to convicted rapist Harvey Weinstein was not enough to warrant a similar reaction. That is not a shot meant to belittle her emotional response, by the way, but to point out that she did not report having that level of distress even after finding out that she was in immediate personal danger. This is the level of fear stoking and anxiety that is being pushed by politicians and lauded by crap media outlets like Buzzfeed.

And for the record, we will, from now on, always refer to Buzzfeed as crap media.

Let's provide some insight on a healthy way forward. How do we get out of the vitriolic cycle of incensed political rhetoric while still standing for the beliefs and values that we hold? Ephesians 6 tells us to gird ourselves in the full armor of God, reminding us that “we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Our battle is not truly against Donald Trump or Joe Biden, MAGA Republicans or Socialist Democrats, but against the spiritual forces at work in this world seeking to destroy all of us. In Matthew chapter 5, Jesus exhorts us in this way;

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

If things around us continue to get worse and you do find yourself having to separate from others, we encourage you to do it in a way that leaves the door open for relationship later on. If you truly believe, as the Bible teaches, that your battle is not with this person, then make sure that any hostility in the relationship is not coming from your side. Leave room for the possibility of reconciliation down the road by seeking to live peaceably towards them for your part.

Finally, it is important to regularly evaluate your own positions. It might seem crazy but hear me out, maybe you’re wrong. Honestly evaluate yourself and recognize the areas that you may have gotten swept away by the current. Remember, in our relationships pride builds walls but humility builds bridges. Admitting when and where you were wrong is an extremely effective invitation for those around you to do the same.