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Last week we started our conversation about the popular HBO series, Euphoria. The more that I have had to dig into this show, the more concerning it becomes. With its stated target audience being mature adults, that position seems to be at odds with its viewing numbers. While only about 2% of the shows audience are watching the episodes on HBO when they are released, the vast majority of viewers are watching via streaming apps like HBO Max and others, a trend typically seen in younger demographics.
With our first video on Euphoria, we made the case for why Euphoria’s nude and sex scenes should actually be considered to be in violation of obscenity laws. Today, we’re going to take a more serious look at the depictions of relationships within the show in order to figure out why we are drawn to toxic shows and toxic relationships.
One of the biggest draws for the audience of Euphoria is the drama. Watching the characters experience a version of real-life situations that cause them to make one bad decision after another. Watching your favorite characters take 1 step forward and two steps back every single week is like watching a train wreck that you just can’t look away from. Euphoria’s producers have maintained that their show is intentionally dark, raw and real with the goal authentically portraying today’s teenagers in high school. It’s a cautionary tale told over multiple seasons. While they may be, questionably, attempting to show the real and raw truth of teens today, is that even a good goal to be working towards?
A 2014 University of Toronto study* put the question of cautionary tales to the test. Contrary to popular belief, their study showed that negative consequence stories did not have the outcome of increasing desired behavior and responses. On the other hand, multiple studies have shown how increased portrayals of drugs, violence and dangerous behaviors have the ability to shape cultural norms and an increase in negative thoughts, anxiety and stress. Again, some of the most susceptible to these messages are young people. With all of this in mind, what is Euphoria potentially normalizing?
Many people turn to tv and movies with the hopes of escapism, trying to leave the pressures and stresses of their lives. Euphoria does not offer this luxury but, instead, takes all of the drama, pressures and stress of their everyday lives and ramps it up to 11. In the show, the characters are seeking escapes of their own. Whether they’re trying to find it in relationships, sex, drugs or all of them at once, they are seen going from one self-destructive choice to another. Rather than realizing the error of their ways, however, the characters seem to be stuck in a perpetual place of ignorance, hell-bent on outdoing their last big mistake with an even bigger one next time. Violence, rape and overdoses are common occurrences in the show and, as disturbing as it sounds, these are the ideas that are being normalized. Teens and younger are watching this show and subconsciously picking up on the idea that this is all to be expected in life. Every character is searching for their own version of euphoria, that momentary feeling of intense freedom and happiness, and they are willing to sacrifice every other moment of their lives to feel it.
As extreme as these depictions are, how many of us are making that same trade. Hopefully we’re not looking for our fix in drugs, alcohol and sex, but for some of us our fix is a relationship. We know that it’s 95% of the time not healthy and, in fact, it can become very volatile and toxic, but for the moments when it feels good, it feels so good. Our friends and family who care about us have repeatedly tried to intervene and get us to leave the unhealthy relationship behind, but they just don’t see what we see in that person. It’s only when things get really bad that we have this moment of clarity and think, just for a moment, that maybe we should go. Then come the apologies, the promises and we’re right back in it again. If you have found yourself stuck in a toxic cycle, one of the most dangerous things about it can be hope; the hope that this time will be different, that true happiness is just around the next corner and you just have to get there. Don’t get me wrong, hope is one of the most important mindsets that we need as people. Hope gets us through some of the darkest times in our lives. But misplaced hope is a killer. Hoping for and especially IN the wrong things will always leave you empty handed in the end. If you recognize this toxic pattern in your own life, it’s time to ask yourself what and who you are putting your hope in. Escapism is temporary, but the painful realities of the world will always come back eventually. We need a hope that is greater than a short-term fix. We need a hope that is fixed like an anchor that can keep us steady through the storms in life. So, where are you placing your hope?
Next week, we’ll keep the conversation going as we talk about Euphoria’s drug problem. Just a few weeks ago, D.A.R.E., the well-known drug awareness and prevention program called Euphoria out for glamorizing drug use and addiction. Again, the creators defended their work with the argument that they’re just being real. Yikes.
*Lee K, Talwar V, McCarthy A, Ross I, Evans A, Arruda C. Can Classic Moral Stories Promote Honesty in Children? Psychological Science. 2014;25(8):1630-1636. doi:10.1177/095679761453640
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