Handling Disagreements the Right Way

If you are a human being in any type of relationship with any other human beings, you have been in situations when you disagreed with them on something. Sometimes, these issues are small but get blown out of proportion while other times, it can be hard to see a path forward in the relationship if you can’t come to terms. Stick with us because today we are giving you 3 tips to handling disagreements in a healthy way!

Our first tip to handling disagreements is to, metaphorically, choose your battles.

In relationships, there will be plenty of opportunities to be offended or to offend the other person. Based off of our individual life experiences, we each have developed our own ways of dealing with life and all of the challenges it brings. In relationships, we are now having to face those challenges with someone else who probably has many different ideas and expectations on how to handle them.

These differences become friction points in your relationship. Some of these friction points are really not that big of a deal, but the ones that do need to be addressed are the ones that are minor but happen frequently or infrequent but significant. An example of the first would be a married couple where one of them leaves the toothpaste uncapped or a friend that gets very excited in conversations and often cuts you off. These are the offenses which are small and usually unintentional, but can build up over time.

Other friction points may not happen as often or may even be a one-time event, but can leave a lasting negative impact. These can come up when one person has had a stressful day and responds harshly to the other, who had nothing to do with their stress. It could also be parents disagreeing about methods on raising their kids or one of the most frequent areas of tension, finances. Whether the issue is a small one that comes up frequently or infrequent but substantial, these are important areas of disagreement to should be addressed?

Our second tip is timing: When is the best time to bring an issue up? If you’re looking for a calm and peaceful resolution for both of you, then it’s when you’re not in the middle of it. If you have just had to screw on the toothpaste for the 100th time or you’ve just been hurt by something your friend said, right then may not be the best time to try to address the issue. When your blood is pumping and your emotions are high, it is easy to escalate the issue and create something even worse. In these situations, it’s often best to take a step back, collect your thoughts and allow your emotions to subside. Then, you will have the opportunity to address the situation from a non-charged place. If the issue is finances, you can talk through your differences in values and expectations by coming together to establish a monthly budget rather than when yet another Amazon package has arrived at your front door.

Sometimes, there is an urgency to these situations and the issue needs to be addressed right away. For those times, we have tip number 3, work hard to remember that you are both on the same team. If you feel your emotions beginning to flare up, breathe. If you have a hard time with saying things in the heat of the moment that you end up regretting later, slow down your speech and be deliberate in the words you choose. Literally ask yourself in your head if this is the best way to say what needs to be said or if it could be misinterpreted. As best you can, be clear about how you are feeling without assuming the motives and intentions of the other person. Instead of making accusatory statements, ask “why” questions and really try to understand where they’re coming from. Finally, don’t see this disagreement as a fight you need to win against the other person but a challenge you both are facing together. Success in this situation is not necessarily getting your way every time but for both of you to arrive to a place where the issue has been acknowledged, understood and you have a clear understanding of expectations moving forward.

Well, we have one more week left in our communication series. Again, this series was inspired by the feedback that we have received from you, our viewers. If you have relationship questions that you want answered, remember to leave them in the comments below. Also, if you have helpful tips to handling disagreements that we missed, let us know what has worked for you in the comments as well.