Made To Be In Relationship

Why do you exist? What is your purpose for being? What is the reason and point of your life? This isn’t a trick question. In fact, it’s a question we’ve all answered countless times and countless ways throughout our lives, most of the time subconsciously, and how we answer this question directly impacts every choice and every relationship we’ve ever been in.

The question, “What is your purpose,” presupposes a few things. First, that you exist – that you’re not merely a simulation or some weird, non-real entity. Secondly, that you are not the byproduct of random chance, but that there is a real reason for “you.” Next, that that intentionality in your creation carries with it the weight that there is a personal intelligence that caused you to come into being. Whether you call that intelligence God, the universe, or some other pseudo-spiritual terminology, that entity would have to exist in order for you to be transcendentally created with a pre-existent purpose. Finally, the question presupposes that you do, indeed, have a purpose. So, let’s assume all of those things. The question still remains, what is it? What is your purpose?

I’ve asked this question hundreds of times in classes, and I often get very similar responses. They’ll start with career goals, family goals, life goals. Not bad things, but not the purpose. Why do you want a successful career? Why do you want a lot of money? Why do you need a big house and a nice car? Why, why, why? Your purpose is going to be found at the deepest core of all of those “why’s.” If we stop at, “I want to be rich” or “I want to be powerful,” we will end up in a very sad state. How many times have we seen people who have all of the riches and power that we dream of, end up dealing with the same depression, emptiness, and much worse? Those things can be helpful tools, but they will never fulfill you. We cannot be satisfied with the things we were not made to be satisfied with.

So, another question that can help us answer the question of purpose then would be, “What does satisfy?” and “What is supremely satisfying?” For instance, would you be willing to sacrifice your time, money, or even temporary happiness for the betterment of other people in your life? Most of us would say, “Of course!” Your spouse, your kids, your parents, your family, friends – we all make many sacrifices for the people we love. Why? Because, we know that our satisfaction is not found in things but in relationships. Our need is to be in healthy relationships with others. Our relationships aren’t healthy, though, just when they feel good or when there is no arguing. In fact, when handled properly, engaging in healthy conflict actually leaves both parties feeling better about themselves and about their relationship afterwards. This tells us that there is an objective standard to weigh our relationships against so that we can determine how healthy they are. If struggling through a difficult conversation is worth disturbing a comfortable yet superficial peace, then there must be something of objectively greater worth than comfort and agreeability. If we are made for relationships, then we must be made to do something within them. Afterall, we can have all sorts of relationships with people, many of those relationships are not healthy. What is the metric we judge by? What is the standard that we instinctually know we must live up to? We were not just created to be in relationships with people, we were made to love the people we are in relationship with.

This tells us a lot about the Being who created us. If our purpose is to be in relationship, the One who made us must be a relational being. If we were made to love, then the One who formed us must be the embodiment of perfect love. This is what distinguishes the God of the Bible from the myriad of other deities who have been worshipped over time. He has fullfilled relationship within Himself since He is a triune God. He has never been alone for He has always been 3 in 1. We weren’t created from a lonely god who just needed a people to talk to him in prayer or worship him in song. He didn’t create us out of a need for something He was lacking. He created us from an overflow of all that He already was and always is. We, being far lower beings yet created in His image, were created with the longing for relationship, not just with other people, but with the One who created us. This video is going to be released on Thanksgiving Day in the U.S. As you sit with your families, recognize that it is not the food you’re eating or the sports or movies you’ll be watching, but the people around you who make this time special. Remember to give thanks to the One who gave them to you, but also recognize that He gave you to them. Your life, your purpose, is to love them well. Finally, remember that, as great as these times with the ones you love can feel, even they will never fully satisfy that aching in your heart. Above all else, you were made to be in relationship with God. He has made a way for you to enter into that relationship by the sacrificial, atoning death of the Son, Jesus Christ. If you haven’t entered into that relationship yet, this is the thanksgiving to do it!