Overcoming Hopelessness

All month long we have been asking the question, “Why?” Why do we date? Why should we wait to have sex? Last week we asked, “Why get married?” and today we are wrapping it up with one of the questions I hear most frequently, “Why even try?” Sometimes, doing the work and making consistent healthy choices can get really hard. Sometimes, it can even become incredibly lonely when you feel like you are the only one moving in that direction. Eventually, you may find yourself questioning if the goals you are working towards are even attainable and, if they are, are they even worth it.

I'll be honest, this month hasn’t been an easy theme to work through. First, we talked about dating. The current state of dating in 2022 is kind of a crapshoot. We’ve outsourced the challenging aspects of finding someone new to dating apps and, in the process, reduced romantic relationships to nothing more than a necessary hurdle on the way to temporary sexual gratification and meaningless hook-ups. We told you that, in order to build something healthier, you might need to do something different than just about everyone around you if you wanted to have what none of them seem to have. Then, the next week we talked about why it is important to wait to have sex until you are married. We know that that is not at all a popular opinion, and to climb that mountain you’ll have just about the whole weight of our cultural influences trying to pull you back down. Abstinence is hard work and, in the moment, sex can feel really good. We gave you a strong case as to why it is healthiest and best for you to reserve that act exclusively for the context of a marriage relationship. Last week, we talked about why marriage is still the strongest and best way to build a family, raise children and one of the greatest ways in which we can reflect Christ to the world. All of these are pushing back heavily against the status quo and cultural norms of our society today and the temptation to give in, just one time, can be like a suggestive whisper that quickly grows into a demanding shout as it tries to cause you to just give up. In order to help you stand against the tide of worldly influences and temptation that you will surely face, today I am going to give you a few more tools to keep you moving forward.

First, you need to recognize the lies. The reason that temptation is so tempting is because it promises the world, but what does it actually deliver. The dating and hook-up scene offers sex, popularity, fun and a whole host of other tantalizing prospects. That is, until you’re on to your 10th boyfriend, your 10th girlfriend. You recognize yourself becoming callous and bitter. You begin to view your partners as objects. You develop a simultaneous need for their attention and affection while at the same time, begin hating being around them. Did it live up to its promise?

If you spend any amount of time online, in the checkout line at the grocery store, watching a movie or listening to the most popular songs of the day, you will quickly find that sex is being sold everywhere. The promises are incredible – the passion, the bliss, the ecstasy. And in the moment, it does feel great. But, the next morning, there is a reason that it is called the walk of shame. You were tricked. You thought this was something more, but it wasn’t. You were used and discarded. The bliss is gone, and the emptiness returns until you can drown it out again in the arms of the next person. Did it live up to its promise.

Marriage is passe’. It’s outdated, it’s old-fashioned, it doesn’t work. 50% of marriages end in divorce. If you put your trust in someone else like that, you're going to end up hurt and alone when they finally do leave you. It’s best to focus on yourself; who you want to be and what you want to do. You will find fulfillment in your career, in your status, in your financial success, in your freedom. But again, you’re lonely, you’re depressed. You’ve devoted your life to you, building on all of the trappings of success but eventually no one else wants to come to the party. You were created to be in a relationship with someone other than yourself but never learned what it means to truly love another person. Did it live up to its promise?

Romans 6:23 - For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Until we learn to recognize sin for what it is, we will always be blinded by its promises and dumbfounded when it’s time to reap what we have sown. It’s like someone offers you a fresh baked brownie and a big glass of milk. It tastes great and then when you have just one last bite, someone else lets you know that each brownie is made with 15% poop. Then, they offer you another one. Would you keep eating? Hopefully not. But it totally depends on how much you believe the other person. Some of us will keep going back to the plate until we start to get sick. Eventually, the baker realizes that you’ll keep coming back, so they gradually increase the poop to brownie ratio until you are only being served a full helping of poop on a plate, but by now you’ve forgotten what anything else tastes like and you believe this is as good as it gets. Then, eventually, you die because you can’t eat poop.

Sorry for the gross analogy, but it gets the point across. That is how sin lures us in with false promises and then keeps us trapped in a mental prison with both spiritual and natural consequences, eventually leading to natural and spiritual death. When you decide to leave the table, you will face challenges. You’ll have to do the work to train yourself to eat healthy and learn to love what is good for you. Some days, you’ll remember how it was when you took that first bite and you’ll be tempted to try it again. Remember the lies and don’t fall for them again.

The next key is to remember the promises of God. The Bible doesn’t promise us that when we follow God, we will never face challenges or hardship. In fact, in John 16, Jesus tells us the exact opposite.

John 16:33 - I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation...”

We are told to expect tribulation. We should expect difficulty. For the disciples He was speaking to, that literally meant that they would face martyrdom and death for the sake of the Gospel. He started off by saying that in Him they would have peace, but it’s not sounding so peaceful. But, there is a promise.

“But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

The beauty is that we are not in this fight alone. If you’ve ever faced difficult times, you know how meaningful it is to have someone fighting alongside you. Jesus promised that we would never be alone. That even in temptation, he would always provide a way of escape – that's the actual context of that frequently misappropriated verse about not being given more than we can bare – that we have the hope of eternity and that these light and momentary afflictions are just that, light and momentary. One of the most beautiful promises ever given by Jesus is found in the final words of the book of Matthew. Why even try? Why keep going. Why bother trying to walk in righteousness when everyone else is running in the opposite direction? Why refuse the lures of sin when it’s promises seem so good in the beginning? Here’s why:

Matthew 28:20b “...And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Because God, the creator of the universe, Jesus Christ, is with us. And He is so much better than anything the world could hope to offer.