Talking About The Two Topics You’re Not Supposed To Talk About

This month, we are going to talk about a particular problem which impacts our relationships in the home, in the workplace, in society at large. This problem so permeates our culture, I guarantee you have thought about it multiple times today already and you’re going to be thinking about them a lot more in the coming weeks. The thing is, we are not supposed to talk about it. But, we’re gonna. That’s right, this month, WholeHeartEd is bringing God and affairs of state back to the dinner table!

We've all been there; embarrassed by that one specific family member who can’t help but bring up the most controversial subjects in mixed company. Modern polite sensibilities that everyone is expected to know and abide by tell us that we shouldn’t talk about things that we can’t all agree on, otherwise you might make someone uncomfortable or upset and ruin the evening for everyone. This is considered being cordial, being respectful, having manners; smile, nod, be agreeable. Of course, everyone is allowed to have and hold their own private beliefs, convictions, worldviews and ideologies, but those really need to be kept private. Besides, talking about your potentially polarizing views with others isn’t going to change anyone’s opinion, let alone impact the greater societal issue you want to bring up. Why rock the boat when no good is going to come from it and, at least for the remainder of the time you have together, make it worse? Again, this has been the prevailing thought on etiquette which has governed our social exchanges for years... Or has it?

In reality, it is not that we are not allowed to talk about these things in social settings, we’re just not allowed to talk about the opinions which aren’t in favor by those who are directing culture. Some of you may think that type of language is being dramatic or blowing things out of proportion, but there’s a reason we haven’t used the word P-O-L-I-T-I-C-S in this video. There is an actual effort being made right now to silence conversations on this topic unless they are promoting what and who the powers that be want promoted. If you would like evidence of that, go ahead and look back at our summer recap series we did in August and pay attention to the play count on the videos. Now, we were only talking about the most newsworthy and notable events that had happened during our summer break, events that had already been covered extensively over the summer weeks and months, and giving our take on how these events impact our relationships. Again, look at the play counts – 31k views, 67k views, 75k views and... 45 views. Not 45k. 45. And what were we talking about? Well, again, even saying the title of that video will get this one shadow banned like that one did.

But, that’s crazy, right? I mean, that event was weeks old by the time we talked about it and we weren’t saying anything partisan or telling anyone who to support. Just saying this is what happened and here are some ways to approach this season while maintaining healthy relationships with those you disagree with. But you’re not allowed to talk about one of the most significant events in that realm of our society in at least the last half century without promoting the right person, or having enough lawyers or money to make them let us promote that video. If you need more evidence, outside of social media, think about what topics you allowed to talk proudly about in society. Is the opposite view, or even a parallel view, allowed to be as proud? What about the topic of so-called “women’s healthcare?” Think of all of the celebrity endorsements one side of that argument holds; are there loud vocal celebrities arguing from the other side or is it more likely that if they spoke out that they would be cancelled and labelled with some horrible name because they believe that bodily autonomy should be a right of the smallest, youngest and most helpless of humanity as well as their mother’s?

And what about religion? Is it true that we are not allowed to talk about our religious views in public, or is more that we aren’t allowed to talk about a particular religion’s views? There were thousands of protestors in the streets in the U.S. shouting against a particular ethno-religious group and literally calling for their extermination. As much as that issue is about a claim to land, it bases those claims off of each group's religious heritage and beliefs with a particular city being the holy land of both groups. We have a group people calling for the unaliving of another group of people but we are told that we need to allow for a more nuanced understanding of a difficult situation. Meanwhile, professing a biblical coherent, Christian worldview and faith means you’re a bigot and spreading hate. We don’t even have to get into the various sin issues, but just claiming to be a follower of Christ without giving the caveat that you don’t actually believe in x,y,z, issues clearly and plainly laid out in the Bible.

Now, don’t hear what we are not saying. This is not a rallying cry for everyone to start arguing and yelling and getting angry. We're not telling you that just because people say bad things about you that you need to get right down on their level and say the same kinds of things to them. When we are personally attacked, we are called to respond in love. Period. What we are saying is that it is time all of us are honest about the double-standards of politeness and manners. Let’s come back to the dinner table and sit across people that we don’t agree with and invite each other into conversation and civil discourse about these topics that actually matter. That might mean that you need to dig deeper and really establish why you believe what you believe. Maybe your arguments aren’t as strong as you thought. Maybe, you don’t know as much as you think you do. But, as a society, we need to prioritize relearning the lost art of conversing with people who don’t agree with us. When we stopped talking about these things at the dinner table, with our family and friends whom we loved, then how could we ever hope to hold these conversations with people we don’t know?

So, we hope that you will join us back here next week as we continue to talk about the things we’re not supposed to talk about. For some of you, this month is going to be a breath of fresh air as it might give you the freedom and skills to start saying the things you’ve been keeping silent on. Awesome! For others, you are already fired up and ready to tear me a new one! Great! For both camps, let us know your thoughts in the comment section below!