Who's Stealing Your Christmas Joy?

You may be surprised to find out that the Grinch who has been the culprit behind ruining your past holiday celebrations is quite often you! I’m sure that other people have done plenty of things that have justified the choices you’ve made, but whether or not you are able to enjoy the holidays really has less to do with what they have done and a lot more about how you respond to it. Today, we’re going to talk about how you can deal with your holiday Grinches before it’s time to sing around the tree or even carve the roast beast!

So, how are you becoming your own Grinch and ruining your holidays? Well, have the disappointments and hurts from people in the past caused you to isolate yourself? Does seeing other people, maybe even strangers you pass by, being joyful and happy at this time of year cause you to become bitter, resentful or maybe even judgmental towards them? Do you find yourself preferring the company of a four-legged companion over having to be around actual people more often than not? If any of those apply to you, congratulations, you’re a Grinch! But don’t worry, all is not lost. Just like the original Grinch, your Christmas story can turn around.

Isolation is a real problem. It’s been said that people are like icebergs and our naturally tendency is to drift apart. We allow hurt, disappointment, stress, busyness and everyday life to push us further and further from relationship with other people. The only way to change that is to intentionally start moving against the current and fight for meaningful connections. Intimacy in relationships is messy and scary, so many of us slip into autopilot and before we realize it, we’ve been alone in a cave on Mt. Crumpet. No one else can force you to make that move from isolation to connection, it has to come from you. It’s also not enough just to physically be in the same location as other people, you have to take the extra effort to make that time meaningful.

Maybe it’s the seemingly shallow conversations and superficial smiling that rubs you the wrong way. We’re not saying that you need to put up front like you’re loving every minute and you don’t have to be a “party person” in order to enjoy yourself at a gathering. If you prefer quality in your conversations over quantity of conversations had, guess what: most people do. You might not be able to enjoy the holiday season because you’ve become too caught up in being what you think other people want you to be instead of being able to relax and be yourself. You don’t have to be the life of the party and there’s nothing wrong with staying out of the spotlight. You might find that taking the time to enjoy just a few extended conversations rather than trying to be seen or talk to everyone is a much more rewarding way to spend your night.

And for those of you who think that you would rather just spend Christmas with the Max’s in your life, you might want to rethink that conclusion. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with loving your pets or enjoying their company - Allie has a few googly eyed fur balls of her own, who have their own instagram btw – but as nice as they can make you feel, pets are NOT a sufficient replacement for real, human connection. Sadly, this may actually be the most controversial thing that we have ever said on here, but people may want pets but people need people. Receiving unconditional love and affection from your dogs or weird judgement and rejection from your cats is something that many people enjoy. Human relationships, on the other hand, come with expectations. They will disappoint you. They will hurt you. But they will also challenge you. They’ll cause you to grow into a more mature and developed person mentally, emotionally and spiritually and the world today could use a lot more people like that. It’s not going to happen overnight, but as you lean into relationships rather than pulling away, you’ll find that just like the Grinch your heart can grow 3 sizes and your life will be fuller and better for it!